Throughout this whole ordeal, I have been always hopeful that something will cure my spasticity (tightness) in my left leg and I will be back to “ normal.” I won’t accept that this is the best I can be.

My niece came to town and she is finishing her masters in Chiropractic Medicine and will graduate in May. She worked on my left leg and it felt so light and easy to lift after she finished. It made me want to go for treatment. Of course, I worry about the expense of treatment

I have had this dream many times of finally finding my cure, but it doesn’t usually work out. This doesn’t stop me from hoping though. There was one machine that zaps your leg and the shock will make you lift your leg. I tried it at the place where they made my leg brace and it didn’t work on me even after they turned the dial up to the highest speed. I was disappointed, but I couldn’t imagine that I could handle getting zapped constantly. I guess there is a limit to what I will tolerate.

My next option is to try the chiropractor in my town. So I will let you know if it works. You can’t stop me from dreaming!

My husband went and picked up the paperwork for the chiropractor in our town so I am very optimistic

 

 

What is happiness? It means something different for everyone. To me it means having family nearby and being able to care for myself. It also means being outside on a crisp morning on a beautiful Autumn day.

It is also the knowledge that my family is safe and healthy. My current ringtone on my phone is called “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. One lyric is “a room without a roof.” This means that there is no limit to it and anything is possible. I love thinking like that!

It is always important for me to have that attitude toward life even when faced with adversity. My mother always told me growing up,” That these struggles will help build my character. Then I would whine, “ Don’t I have enough character by now?

I especially enjoy listening to music and also just about anytime being outside when the weather is nice because it is so peaceful. It is fun to watch the beautiful birds that come to feast on our many feeders.

Happiness means is being able to care for myself. I work hard to continue making my own meals.

I enjoy having the comfort of knowing that my family loves and supports me in my endeavors.

 

My husband knows that I love our backyard, but it is difficult for me to get around it. I am always left out of the fun activities. He decided to build me a walkway throughout our large yard. It is made of wood and it is wide enough for my walker.

He also is quite a talented gardener so there are beautiful plants all around it. We also have an above ground pool that I use whenever someone is around because there is a still a possibility of my having a stroke or not being able to get out of our pool since we have such a steep ladder, but so far I can get out it by myself.

I have loved swimming since I was a child and now it is another wonderful therapeutic tool for me to improve my gait walking. The water is one place I don’t have to worry about how slow I am walking. I feel very peaceful and tranquil looking over my yard from the water. My yard is my oasis!

I am married to a wonderful man since May 1983 whom I met at my high school job at a local grocery store. On our first date, we discovered that we were born one day apart. We were both cashiers and we enjoyed our jobs, but I had planned on continuing on to college. I then attended the University of Texas and graduated in Education in 1984. There was a mutual attraction to each other so we were married in May of that same year. Eventually we were blessed with our two boys. Our pairing seemed like destiny since we had so many other similar interests.

Before I had children, walking and jogging became such a joy that I entered several runs. The first one was called the Jingle Run in the month of January so the weather was quite chilly. My mother and I put jingle bells on our feet so we jangled while we jogged. It was very musical to put everyone into a joyous mood.

Since this race was so much fun, my mom and I geared up for the Capital 10,000. We began taking longer walks in our local park. This was a special bonding time for us.

In April of that same year, my mom and I participated in the Capital 10,000. This race is 10,000 meters or 6.2 miles. It was scary for me because I had never done anything remotely like this before, but we were determined to finish the race. We kept encouraging each other to keep jogging. The race went well and we jogged the entire time! I felt like the tortoise in the story “The Tortoise and the Hare. “ We were just jogging along slowly, but winning was not our goal. Our goal was being able to complete the race at all. This was a success in our eyes when we both finished the race!

After my second baclofen surgery, my journey toward walking again took a downward turn. Since I have balance issues, I started using a walker because it was easier for me to than a wheelchair.  One of the reasons that I decided that the walker was better than a wheelchair was that I started to dread trying to manage steering the wheelchair is because the right arm of my body was much stronger than the left so it seemed impossible to make the wheelchair go straight ahead. It took me a long time to peddle down the hospital when I was there. In the hospital hallway, I was weaving right than left. It was so frustrating!

I quit driving all together for many reasons. One is that I kept banging into things like a drive through at Dairy Queen. I hit some metal poles that were about 4 feet tall and I scrapped it on my car door and then later I backed into a small concrete block that I could not see. My son said that he saw me weaving on the road. I also tapped a few fenders by not stopping in time because of my slow reactions. Obviously I should not be on the road so I quit.

This made me very sad but I thought it was for the best. I do miss the freedom of driving wherever I wanted to go.

My husband is building me a walkway in our large backyard. It is made of wood and it has handrails as well. He has surrounded it with beautiful plants on both sides. He is planning to go all around our above ground pool. My older son and my husband’s dad have helped him build it even during our hot summer months. The walkway is designed for me to use with my walker or I could use just the handrails. I just love being outside! The backyard is my oasis!

We entertain often outside so the yard been a godsend for us. When we bought the house, I really liked how wide our lot was between our houses. Of course, then we were the only home on our rural street at that time. There are many more houses built up now.   Our street has been now connected to a major throughway from the interstate highway. Traffic had since increased, but it still pretty quiet here most of the time.

I love being outside whenever the weather is nice. My walkway was too steep in some parts of it and they had to redo it to make it safer for me. Some declines of the walkway forces me to walk faster. My right leg tries to correct when I get going too fast. It acts like a brake to keep from me from falling.

I do enjoy the walkway because it declines and rises which makes me almost pant when I am finished. I also have a very peaceful view of our yard and our pool. It is an ongoing project since he’s only gotten halfway around our pool so far. My husband is planning to make me a walkway to our outdoor swing. I love going out to the swing now, but its too difficult for me. I do look forward to this addition in the future!

My husband prepared a playlist for me to listen to my favorite tunes on my iPod while I walk. This makes it even more enjoyable.

My life was changed drastically as a result of being hit by a car while walking in my neighborhood. I now have many difficulties with my memory and problem solving. I also experience spasticity with my left leg that has consequently affected my walking gait. The young boy that hit me originally with his car was even given a respite by my husband who felt that he was too young to punish.

Unfortunately after the second baclofen surgery, I was unable to walk and was wheelchair bound for almost a year. I began to feel hatred toward my doctors because it was extremely difficult to prove that I walked in the hospital that day using a cane and came out using a wheelchair. It is our word against theirs so no lawsuit was filed.

Whenever you have surgery, you are asked to fill out a form that you are aware of the risks, and it has so many possibilities of “What if’s. You don’t realize that you are also signing away a chance to make them liable.

I feel bitterness because no one is even going to take responsibility. It was an accident I have been told. What do I do with this now? Well, I can get angry or I can just deal with it. “It is what it is,” has become my new philosophy. What choice do I have with my predicament?

I was forced to retire early or be faced with possibly being fired, and I knew that I wasn’t ready to retire before my friends. I then decided to retire early with disabilities. I began to embrace the idea of sleeping in late and spending more time with my sons.  I started to see the possibilities. I began to enjoy the time off to spend time reading books as well as getting projects done in the house.

My sons and I went many places like going to the movies and then I began to realized how I could even do my shopping during the week days. I was so surprised how much traffic there was during this time though. I wondered why more people weren’t working because I never noticed this before now.

I became very upset about how I left teaching. When the next school year began, I began to feel empty inside. Teaching wasn’t just a job. It became my identity. I taught for 15 years and I felt I had found my niche.

What was I going to do with myself? I had to reinvent myself again.

I decided to volunteer at a Hospice Hospital after meeting a man on a flight while visiting to see my sister in Georgia. This man told me he was on hospice going to stay with his son. He was telling me about his life and I was able to make him laugh. I jokingly told him “ Are you coming on to me? I am a married lady. His face lit up.

This gave me the idea to volunteer as a Hospice Volunteer. It was an interesting experience for me, but it was too sad to do for an extended period of time so I stopped after several months. It did give me some needed knowledge about being in a nursing home in the future that I certainly don’t want. If I have another fall on my head that could happen so I try to always be careful!

My all time favorite Physical therapist’s name is Gretchen. She is very enthusiastic about her craft. Sometimes she looks at me like she is studying me like a puzzle to be solved and that is when she comes up with some pretty bizarre ideas on things to have me try

These ideas are usually scary for me. One time she had two male interns carry me on their shoulders and run. My feet were dangling and barely touching the ground. I was told she was reminding my brain that I know how to run.   Another day, she had me walk with large rods instead of my walker. She had me use them like ski poles which means I had to balance and walk. Another time she had me step up on the exercise table, which by the way, is a very large step also making me depend on my bad leg (left). My heart is usually racing after such sessions.

She also takes videos of my walking on her phone and shows it to me so I can see what I am doing when I walk. For example, by not using my left hip to push my leg forward, this causes me to hop up during my walking stride. It is very helpful for me to see this so I can correct it.

She is very inventive and seems to really care about my progress.   She also encourages me to tell her what is difficult for me. For example, I told her that I have trouble pivoting myself into and out of a chair at crowded restaurants. She then showed me how to maneuver myself by using another chair and scooting over.

Gretchen gave me visual cues to remind me on my walker that say, “Pick it up” on the left side of my walker and “Pass it up” on the right side. When I am walking to push myself to walk even faster, I chant this mantra over and over in my head. This seems to really help me.

Another challenging maneuver she showed me is an exercise using only my left side to turn myself over on top of the exercise matt. At first I didn’t think I could do it and she stood up on the mat herself and helped me do it with a little guidance. Then I did it on my own! She makes me feel that anything is possible!

My doctor suggested that I could try a surgery called a baclofen pump. This pump is inserted into my stomach with a tube that is attached to my spine that would distribute a muscle relaxer into my left leg.

My doctor told me that the side effects would be minimum, if any. I then tried a day procedure called a spinal tap to see if the pump would even work on me at all. He had me lay on my side with my knees to my chest ( like I’m performing a cannonball). The neurologist tried to attach it directly into my spine but he had trouble locating the exact spot to draw out the fluid. After about 20 times of sticking the large needle in an out of my back, I couldn’t take the pain anymore.

This definitely was the most excruciating pain that I have ever experienced. Since it wasn’t working, my neurologist had me go over to the hospital next door. They used a magnifying x-ray to see where to place the needle. This allowed them to have a better view of my spine so they could make a more assured decision of the spot they were aiming to hit. This whole ordeal was extremely painful, but the doctor assured me that it should work now. It sounded drastic, but I was so desperate to walk again that I proceeded with the surgery.

The surgery was such a success that I was able to walk without a cane at times. I even walked in a nearby park for exercise without the use of a cane! I had finally found my cure, and I was so excited!